The other day I started writing a plan. I do this every time I feel stuck in my life. It includes my goals and what I need to do or find out to get there. It got me thinking about how I got to where I am today and I decided to write this little list.
Change the way you think, feel and behave
Learn how to not use negative language when talking to yourself. Talk to yourself like you talk to your best friend. Love yourself, your flaws and weaknesses included. We have tens of thousands of thoughts everyday and if a big part of them are negative then you’re simply enabling yourself to stay negative. You are what you think. Literally. In order to do something you need to fully believe that you can or you’ll be setting yourself up to fail. If you want to achieve something you first need to visualise it. You need to be there in your mind. I highly recommend learning cognitive behavioural therapy. Read: Words I live by.
Choose the people you surround yourself with wisely
You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. Make sure that they’re loving and lovable people. Invest in love. Get rid of negative people who are holding or pulling you down. Positivity and negativity is equally contagious. People will treat you how you let them treat you. Be an honest person and demand being treated with respect. Be grateful for the wonderful people you have in your life. Help others whenever you can, strangers as well. Pay it forward. Remember that we are all fighting our own personal battles and demons.
Find a way to do what you’re passionate about for a living
You should pursue your dreams as oppose to going to a job you hate everyday. Your passions are what you should spend your time doing. Prioritise what you want to do. Don’t waste your time on something that’s completely meaningless to you. I’m currently working this one out as I can’t stand doing a job that I hate, not even when I desperately need the money.
Never stop learning
For me, the most important thing in life is knowledge. There’s always something to learn from every situation in life, especially in tough times. Make sure you learn so you don’t make the same mistake again. Find new ways to do things, learn new skills, be open-minded, read books, and listen to people’s stories. They might be able to teach you something valuable.
Live in the present
Don’t dwell on things you can’t change and don’t worry about the future until you’re there. Don’t be afraid of change, embrace it. Change is beautiful because it makes us grow. Appreciate what you have now, in this very moment. Appreciate simple pleasures. Let go of the past, it is what it is. If you want to do something, do it now. There’s never going to be a perfect time and we don’t know how much time we have.
Learn how to stop worrying
Because it’s a complete waste of time. Read: How I stopped worrying (and learnt to love uncertainty).
Get in touch with your emotions
Check in with yourself and ask how you are a few times a day. ‘How are you? Is anything bothering you?’ Spend one minute to feel how you are feeling, one minute to focus on a specific prominent emotion, and a final minute just to be present with yourself.
Consciously choose happiness
Having struggled with depression my whole life, I would never say that being happy is easy. It’s not, it’s really hard work. You have to constantly work on it, especially when you’re in a difficult situation. But it’s well worth it for that piece of glorious euphoria. Being high on life is addictive. So keep in mind that happiness is a choice you have to make over and over.