The True Sea

The human mind, old films, literature and podcasts.

Making life happen

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Chiaki Creates - Making Life Happen chiakicreates.comThe past 4 years of my life have been incredibly tough. If you don’t know me offline, this may come as a surprise to you as I made a conscious decision not to share all the bad stuff online. We are not our circumstances and I realised that blogging had a therapeutic effect because it forced me to focus on the good stuff.

Truth is, I felt horrifically lonely and out of place in London. Everything there is so fleeting. I was struggling to find meaningful work and I kept making friends who were only passing through. I’m originally from a small town in Sweden and as fun as London can be, living there stopped making sense to me a long time ago. I ended up spending my days desperately missing nature, seaside air and people who don’t live there.

So, 2 weeks ago I moved to Brighton to start a completely new life. I’m currently working in an ethical independent supermarket and living with a really sweet woman who was in a cult for 7 years. The transition proved more difficult than I thought it would be, but I’m making lots of new friends and there are lots of opportunities coming my way. This is my life now. I just need to stop resisting and let life take its course.

For 4 years I gave until there wasn’t anything left of me to give and it has made me really unhappy. I feel unbearably guilty saying no to people who are asking for my help and learning that “no” is a complete sentence has taken me many years. I’ve finally admitted to myself that I need therapy to help me work through everything that happened in London.

About 3 months ago, I wrote a plan for the future and I was pleasantly surprised by how specific it turned out. Since then I’ve been working very hard to create the life that I want to live. It’s been a painfully slow process but I’m taking steps towards a better life every day.

I want a simple, slow life. I want to write and help people live like they mean it. I want to go for long walks, cook good food, laugh every day, love with my whole heart, read good books, listen to music and podcasts, have super connection conversations, sing, watch good films, learn new things, go out for dinner or tea and cake, visit exhibitions, go to comedy and music gigs, go to the pictures and travel.

Artistic souls need space to grow and I’m never going to become the woman I want to be if I live conventionally. I was never made for a conventional life. I need to invest in myself and live the way I want to live.

That’s it. Nothing is more important than doing what makes me happy and surrounding myself with people who love me, believe in me, encourage me and make me cry with laughter. I just want to write and love and laugh. Here’s to a new chapter of my life.

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14 thoughts on “Making life happen

  1. All the best for your new start in Brighton. Hope you’ve found a place that feels like home x

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. Cheers!

  3. That sounds like an excellent list. Hopefully Brighton turns out to be better than London! :)

  4. I identify with this a lot-the last 4 years have been really hard for me too, but I didn’t want all the bad stuff to be the first thing people heard about me. I didn’t want to be defined by it. I’m in the process of changing a lot of things and will hopefully be moving in the next few months, which will finally allow me to be fully myself (I currently live with family and have to suppress a lot of things). I’m glad that moving to Brighton has been such a positive thing for you and I hope things continue to get better for you. x

    • I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had 4 tough years too, my lovely. Yes, one shouldn’t be judged by the bad stuff but sadly that’s often the case. I’m pleased to hear that you’re moving soon! It will help you lots. Getting out of an unhealthy situation is always the right thing to do. It doesn’t have to mean that people or a place or a job or whatever are bad, it just means that it’s not healthy for YOU. I’ve had to suppress a lot of things too because of the people I’ve lived with over the past few years and I’m currently re-learning to be myself fully as well as care for and love myself. Thank you so much. I hope you keep changing things and that you very soon will be and feel free. I love the Dr. Seuss quote: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” I think it’s really important that we learn to please ourselves first. We can do this! x

  5. Thanks for sharing. It helped me and if you hadn’t opened up yourself that wouldn’t have happened. Blessings!

  6. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’ve only just found your blog and am so glad I did. The line that really jumped out at me was “artistic souls need space to grow”. Such true words there. I’ve often dreamt about living in Brighton. I live in a very hot, humid part of the coast in Australia and would give anything to live somewhere cooler. It sounds lovely. I’m off to read more of your blog now.

    • Thank you so much, Deb! I’m so glad you found me. Your blog is beautiful. It’s like a love letter to handmade! It’s a great line, isn’t it. My best friend said that to me when I was doubting my calling. Brighton really is amazing. It’s full of creative people and most people seem to have their priorities straight. It’s an inspiring place to live. Oh, that sounds tough! I’m not good with heat. Hope you keep reading and commenting. :)

  7. “I want a simple, slow life”, me to and all the thing you mentioned after. I feel the need of balance in my life.
    I can understand you and I really wish you the best.

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