I’m in a much, much better place now than I was a year ago. I have the determination, the hope and the love. I know that I can do whatever I want. I just need to figure out exactly what that is. Aren’t we all trying to figure it out? I trust my journey, even when life seems impossible. I’m a fighter and I’m never ever going to give up on creating a happy life for myself.
Right now, my living situation is my only pressing problem but it’s having a huge effect on my well-being. Life seems to have turned into a vicious circle of living in people’s spare rooms. Since May last year, I’ve lived in three different spare rooms and I’m now facing the prospect of moving into yet another spare room before moving again soon. I just want it to stop. I just want to settle. I miss having a home. I miss having a place where I can relax and feel safe. I miss having a place where I’m not constantly bothered by people who think that it’s okay to treat me like I’m worthless.
Apart from that, I’m good. I have supportive loving people around me. I’m hoping to be able to visit my friends and family in Sweden for a while again soon. I have a job that I love and the most wonderful colleagues. It’s a huge thing for me because I’ve hated every job I’ve ever had save one, but even that one ended up boring me in the end. My job is only guaranteed until the end of the year though and when it ends, I have no idea what to do. Life has been repeatedly pulling the rug from under my feet for far too long.
I’ve decided to use all the insane stuff that I’ve been through over the last 5 years as material for the autofiction book that I’m writing about my past. The working title is Can I Go Now?, a nod to my commitment issues and my tendency to get impatiently bored with things and people. I have no intention on holding back on anything in it, so I’m going to tell my family that they best not read it.
For a while now, I’ve had this idea of becoming a life coach. I want to help people live like they mean it. There’s something about me that makes people talk openly about their thoughts and feelings, so I figure it might be a good idea. I want to build on the psychology courses I’ve taken. I want to use my knowledge and my life experience to help people live happier. Frankly, the only thing stopping me is the fear of being self-employed.
How about you? Do you trust your journey?