Happiness is hard work. The brain is wired to to pay more attention to negativity, but thankfully it’s also malleable. It’s fundamentally flexible and it loves structure so much that if it can’t find any it will create it for you. This means that we can change our emotional, behavioural and thinking patterns. Don’t let perception be a passive process. Start by letting go of these things.
The misconception that happiness means that everything is good
Rather than chasing happiness, choose to embrace wholeness. Life is never going to be perfect. Suffering is part of life. Accept the pain as part of your journey, but never let it hold you back. Difficult times can teach us so much about the world and about ourselves, if only we let them.
What other people think and expect of you
Do what you want to do. Be who you want to be. You have to make yourself happy. No one else can make you feel fulfilled, and no one has the right to expect anything from you. It doesn’t matter what other people think you should or shouldn’t do. You are here to live your life.
Your expectations of how you want things and people to be
Be accepting and compassionate with people. They’re (one would hope) doing their best. We can’t control others’ emotions, behaviour and thoughts. Be flexible with how your life unfolds. Things very rarely turn out the way we plan. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have a plan though.
Your comfort zone
It feels safe I know, but staying there prevents you from growing as a human being. Do things that scare you on a regular basis. Even if it’s only little things. Challenge and push yourself every day. It will make you feel amazing every time you do something you didn’t think you could do.
Whether you have a need to blame someone or something, try to control everything, employ negative self-talk or complain a lot about things – stop. By doing these things, you are taking the power to be happy away from yourself.
Work on forgiving others who’ve wronged you, and forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. Dwelling on the past has no benefits whatsoever. You are here, alive, in this moment. The past is over. It can only affect you as much as you let it. You need to heal yourself and move on for your own sake.
People who have a negative impact on you
If someone doesn’t want the best for you, they have no place in your life. I know I say this a lot but it’s crucial for maintaining your wellbeing. Spend your time and energy on people who support and love you unconditionally. Those are the people who matter. Cutting people out of your life can be very difficult if it’s, let’s say, someone you work with or are related to, but you can at least limit the time you give them.
Stop being scared of failure or waiting for your ‘real’ life to begin. This is it. It’s happening right now. There is never going to be a perfect moment to do anything, so start taking steps towards what you want to do with your life today. Write down what you want your life to be like, then go out there and make it happen.