I’ve felt lost since I found out that the Starman has left our planet. I’ve cried and cried, and I feel exhausted no matter how much I sleep. I’ve been lacking in motivation and I’ve been lying awake at night in numb disbelief. I’m shocked by how strongly his death is affecting me. Even more shocking is that it took me almost a week before I even realised that I’m grieving. I always thought that he would somehow live forever. It never occurred to me that I would at some point in my life have to accept being in a world without Bowie in it, without his guidance.
I’m lucky enough to have a few wonderful people in my life who understand the pain. My dear Geenie deserves a huge thank you for the telepathic love she’s been sending. It’s so comforting talking to someone who is just as devastated as I am. She wrote this beautiful piece that moved me to tears after the departure of our mutual hero.
Bowie’s music has always and will always be coursing through my veins. My mum did a fabulous job instilling her love for him into me. Mimicking Bowie’s work, I grew up shapeshifting from one extreme to the other. Reinventing myself over and over. Ending up even legally changing my first name. No person has meant as much to me when it comes to connecting with myself and learning to love myself as Bowie has.
He really was a hero. He challenged the world’s outdated gender definitions and insistently pushed boundaries. He taught us that identity is fluid and that we can find happiness by truly knowing ourselves. Let’s carry his legacy on by being true to ourselves and embracing our flaws. By being proud of our unique weirdness and by challenging definitions of everything. By playing with aspects of our personalities and shapeshift. By nurturing our creativity and believing in our work without censoring ourselves. We can do and be whatever we want.
Now I want to let you in on a little secret. My favourite tool for living my life to its fullest and staying true to myself Bowie-style, is a self empowerment notebook. It’s a tool inspired by Bowie that I started using when I was 12 for my first shapeshift. I’ve used it ever since to improve my life and to create all my different personae. It’s simple but potent. Buy yourself a pretty notebook and fill it with powerful words. Be radically honest in this notebook. It’s for your eyes only. Use it every day as instructions to creating the life that you want to live and the person that you want to be. Here are some suggestions of things to fill it with:
A list of what to focus on, to be read every morning
Monthly goals
Yearly goals
Things that would contribute to your happiness
Your vision
25 things that you want in your life, including things that you already have
Self care activities
Life goals
Things that you’re proud of yourself for
Bowie was a true artist who happened to use music as a medium, but the world was his canvas. Always one step ahead, he made the act of dying his final piece of art. The greatest tribute we can give the man is to proudly be our freaky selves and to do our best to make this world a more accepting and loving place full of art.
How about you? Has Bowie’s death affected you? Did you grow up with his music?
Joy Division – Closer (1980)
