The True Sea

The human mind, old films, literature and podcasts.


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6 Things I Love These Days

6 Things I Love These Days | The True Sea thetruesea.comIntrospectiveness
For a while now, I have sensed something shifting in me and I’m trying to pinpoint what it is. I’m thinking a lot about what it means to carve your own path and live life fully. The drudgery of everyday life is really getting to me and I’m trying to work out what I need to do to not feel trapped. Self-examination can be a very useful tool when you need to move forward, so hopefully something will click very soon.

The Path
A Hulu original drama series about a man (played by Aaron Paul) who’s a member of a mysterious cult called The Meyerist Movement. He suddenly starts doubting his faith and things quickly fall apart. The cult’s lingo is at first confusing, but you soon learn what all their different terms mean. The show goes to all the dark places, and it makes me question how I live my life and what’s important to me. I find it utterly mesmerising and at times, very upsetting. You can watch it on Amazon Prime. Season 3 will be out next year.

Sashiko
I’m finally excited about making things again after taking a very long break from it. Sashiko is something I’ve always enjoyed, but I’ve decided to try to incorporate bead embroidery into my work now. I’ve got a few beautiful Japanese fabrics that I can’t wait to embroider. Starting small is the best way to go though. I’m planning to share my progress on Instagram.

Tabi no Yado onsen bath salts
These mineral-rich bath salts have the medicinal properties of Japan’s hot springs (onsen). They come in a clear or milky version, each making the water a different colour. The scents include cedarwood, moss, field flowers, yuzu and herbs. The sakura is my favourite so far, because it makes the water cherry blossom pink and it smells absolutely divine. I got them on eBay, but I’ve also seen them on Amazon.

Heavy books
I’ve already mentioned that A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara made me cry lots. At certain points in this heartbreaking epic, I wasn’t sure I could continue reading. After that, I read A Cure For Suicide by Jesse Ball and Columbine by Dave Cullen – both thought-provoking. My best friend gifted me Flickan och Skammen (The Girl and The Shame) by Katarina Wennstam. It’s a Swedish journalistic book about slut shaming. I love all her books.

Psychology magazines
There’s something about reading magazines that makes me feel like I’m on holiday. It’s such a treat because I so rarely buy the paper editions. Psychology and true crime are the only kinds I care for really. When I do splurge, I always get a copy of Psychologies as it’s my favourite magazine.

How about you? What things do you love these days?

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Taking Stock

Taking Stock | The True Sea thetruesea.comEnjoying: peace and quiet after noisy workdays.
Listening: to Penntricket, a Swedish feminist podcast.
Wearing: my floral kimono dressing gown around the house.
Making: time for more self care.
Eating: chantarelles, baby kale and Japanese micro herbs.
Drinking: gyokuro and powdered sencha.
Feeling: bored with my current everyday life.
Reading: Columbine by Dave Cullen.
Looking: for a literary day job.
Wishing: I could be a bookseller again, but I can’t afford the pay cut it would entail.
Liking: falling asleep reading.
Waiting: for season 3 of The Path.
Learning: more about cults.
Snacking: on cherries and strawberries.
Loving: the jasmine and sandalwood perfume I made at work.
Watching: Aquarius for the second time.
Getting: better at pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
Noticing: that I’m thinking a lot about Sweden.
Cultivating: inner strength.
Missing: my loves ones.
Bookmarking: articles about gentle living.
Contemplating: giving Shudder a go.
Deciding: to pick up sashiko and crochet again.
Wanting: a house.
Thinking: about A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara still. It made me cry so much.
Knowing: that I need a life change.

Taking Stock is a feature inspired by the lovely Pip of Meet Me At Mike’s.


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6 Things I Love These Days

6 Things I Love These Days | The True Sea thetruesea.comSafe bet books
Recently, I got out of the habit of reading every day simply because I didn’t feel excited about the books on my reading pile. So I got a few novels that are safe bets. I really enjoyed Herman Koch’s The Dinner. His new metafictional thriller Dear Mr M sounds like it will tick all my boxes. Japanese crime fiction and horror never let me down, so I also got Six Four by Hideo Yokoyama and Ring by Koji Suzuki which surprisingly, I’ve never read.

Preparing for 2017
I’ve started writing down my goals for next year. Creating a home in my own place, spending more time with the people I love and changing day jobs to do what I’m passionate about are my top priorities. My wellbeing is more important than anything else. I also want to focus on learning new things, relaxing better and establishing more healthy routines.

Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories
A beautiful life drama series based on the manga Shinya Shokudō. A chef referred to as ‘Master’, only opens his little restaurant between midnight and 7am. He has a very small menu, but he will happily cook whatever his customers ask for as long as he has the ingredients for the dish. This is a thought-provoking show about the interactions we have and the relationships we form over meals. You can watch it on Netflix.

Laughing every day
It helps me de-stress and take life less seriously. When I’m not working, I listen to comedy podcasts and watch fun stuff. I’m really enjoying Maron and Brooklyn Nine-Nine at the moment. Mascots is one of the funniest films I’ve seen in a while and I highly recommend it. It’s basically Best in Show, but with mascots instead of dogs.

Ruminations by Conor Oberst
I’ve been listening to Conor’s new album in bed with my eyes closed. Everything he creates evokes such a wide range of feelings and memories. There’s sorrow, nostalgia, happiness, melancholia, hope, comfort, affection, determination, acceptance and love. His music feels like home to me in a way that no physical place ever has. It makes me feel safe.

Making myself feel good
Doing things that I’ve been putting off. Sorting through and organising my belongings. Becoming a Cats Protection sponsor. Donating stuff I don’t use to a Mind charity shop. Selling clothes I never wear. Finally paying off my student loan.

How about you? What things do you love these days?


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6 Things I Love These Days

6 Things I Love These Days | The True Sea thetruesea.comMy mala necklace
Mala necklaces are traditionally used during Japa meditation where a mantra is repeated 108 times – one time for each bead. I couldn’t find quite what I wanted, so I decided to make one myself out of rosewood, turquoise and lapis lazuli beads. I’m so pleased with how it turned out.

Anything that makes me feel cosy and safe
Snuggling up under a throw with a big cup of cherry blossom or mango green tea and a Japanese crime novel in the evenings. Watching an old horror film in bed by candlelight with a box of chocolates. Taking a long Epsom salt bath while burning a rosewood scented candle. Writing my thoughts out while listening to Nine Inch Nails.

Spotless
A CANAL+ Création Originale genre-bending drama series about Jean Bastière, a crime scene cleaner who lives in London with his wife and their two kids. One day, his estranged, wayward brother Martin turns up at their house and asks for a huge favour. Things escalate really quickly from there. It’s dark, gory and satirical – everything I want from a tv show. You can watch it on Netflix.

Being alone with my thoughts
For a while, I haven’t allowed myself to simply sit and think. When I’m stressed out and my thoughts are racing, I use constant distraction as a coping technique to prevent my OCD from triggering thought loops. Even though I’m still under a lot of pressure at work, I’m back to normal now, allowing my thoughts to pass through as they wish, visualising the future and letting myself daydream.

True Crime Japan
A podcast about true crime and mysteries from Japan. To my delight, the hosts cover some cases that haven’t received much attention outside of the Land of the Rising Sun. My favourite episodes so far are The Suicide Website Killer and The Psychic Spot Disappearance (The Spirited Away Hotel). There hasn’t been a new episode in a while, but I hope they’re intending to make more.

Patricia Highsmith books
I can’t believe I haven’t read any of her work until now. So far I’ve read A Suspension of Mercy and This Sweet Sickness. The latter had a big emotional impact on me. Next up is The Cry of the Owl. Patricia’s exceptionally well-written psychological thrillers very much get under your skin and inside your head. Her characters blur the line between imagination and reality in such a fantastic way that even the reader isn’t sure which is which.

How about you? What things do you love these days?


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Taking Stock

Taking Stock | The True Sea thetruesea.comEnjoying: days of alone time.
Listening: to The Unresolved Podcast.
Wearing: my 2nd chakra symbol necklace every day.
Making: peace with my past.
Drinking: Clipper Green Tea with Raspberry and Ginseng.
Feeling: slightly blasé about this year.
Reading: Silence Once Begun by Jesse Ball.
Looking: forward.
Wishing: I had more time to write.
Liking: how visiting Sweden always reassures me that I’m on the right path.
Waiting: for the next season of American Horror Story.
Snacking: on cinnamon almonds.
Learning: to be more patient.
Loving: wandering around a bookshop for an hour.
Watching: Stranger Things and Happy Valley.
Admiring: Rose McGowan. Always.
Getting: lots of blog post ideas.
Noticing: my negative thoughts and redefining them.
Giggling: at BoJack Horseman.
Bookmarking: Creepy Catalog articles.
Deciding: to be kinder to myself.
Wanting: to move into a house.
Thinking: about the connections we choose and the ones we don’t choose.
Knowing: that I’m conquering my commitment issues.

Taking Stock is a feature inspired by the lovely Pip of Meet Me At Mike’s.


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6 More Things I’ve Learnt This Year

6 More Things I've Learnt This Year | The True Sea thetruesea.comThis has been a bizarre year so far to say the least. Some days, I feel like we’re all in an episode of The Twilight Zone. Though with the latest plot twist (this is likely as political as I will ever be on here), it seems more like an episode of Black Mirror. Yet I’m learning lots about myself and how things are connected. Here are six more things I’ve learnt this year.

Reading gets me out of my head when nothing else works.
Books have always been my escape. Listening to a podcast or watching something can still allow my thoughts to wander or loop when I’m in a stressed or anxious state. But picking up a good book always distracts me from my internal monologue. The instant I become completely engrossed in what I’m reading, my thoughts stop.

It’s okay to not want a busy social life.
I’m not a people person. My favourite person to hang out with is me. I do love spending time with people I like, but truth is I don’t like a lot of people, and it goes both ways. I’m fine with that. There’s a limited amount of time I can deal with social interaction before I need to recharge my batteries alone, and that’s okay too.

I need to do what I love for a living.
Spending only my free time doing what I love isn’t enough to keep me happy. I loop back to this over and over again. A means to an end job just isn’t something I can do long term. I always end up frustrated and questioning my life choices. Frankly, I admire people who don’t lose their minds doing boring work. But I need to accept that I’m never going to be one of those people. I need to do what I love full time. I need to write, and work with books and words.

No one has the right to expect anything from me.
It’s not my job to live up to the expectations of others. If people don’t want to accept me as I am, that’s their problem. I don’t change to fit anyone’s assumptions. The older I get, the lower my nonsense tolerance gets. Healthy relationships and interactions are unconditional. And those are the only kind I want in my life.

Happiness requires constant work.
I know this, yet I still slip up every now and then. If you are, consciously or unconsciously, looking for negative aspects, that’s invariably what you’ll focus your attention on. Life isn’t meant to be good, nor is it meant to be bad. It isn’t meant to be anything. You decide how you interpret the world around you. Your life is only as good as you believe it is.

The best is yet to come.
I never reminisce about days gone by. Things weren’t better back then. They’re better now, and they keep getting better. The present is fine, but the future will be amazing. That’s where the really good stuff is. Every day I’m getting closer to living the life I want to live.

How about you? What things have you learnt this year so far?


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Simple Pleasures in Sweden

Simple Pleasures in Sweden | The True Sea thetruesea.comHello lovelies, how are you all? It’s been a while. I haven’t been blogging much lately because my outdated blog name was really starting to bother me. So, I spent a week doing intensive brainstorming and I finally settled on a new one. I wanted it to hint at the topics I write about, but I just couldn’t come up with anything I loved that wasn’t already taken. In the end, I went with The True Sea. It’s a Paul Dempsey song “about space – as in deep space, but also personal space”. I’m already excited about blogging again!

I’m back home in Brighton after 2 weeks spent with friends and family in Sweden. A visit to my home country never fails to make me reconnect with myself, but it also never fails to bring up conflicting feelings. As a visitor, I see all the good things. I know though, that I had very valid reasons to leave. It makes me sad to see how some things haven’t changed at all. Yet it allows me to appreciate just how much I’ve grown as a human being since I moved to the UK 6 years ago. The best thing about visiting Sweden is being around people who know me really well. It always reminds me that the little things are important.Simple Pleasures in Sweden | The True Sea thetruesea.comLittle things like:

Catching up with friends who I haven’t seen for at least 6 years over a drink.
Walks in the woods.
Trying new teas such as green tea with apple and rose.
Eating raspberry blueberry crumble made by my best friend when I’m feeling poorly.
Picking up a new kimono in my favourite shop, INDISKA.
My best friend’s cat falling asleep on my lap.
Reading Vertigo by paraffin lamp light.
Playing with my childhood best friend’s little baby girl.
Watching one of my favourite films, Bedazzled (1967), with my best friend.
Talking about life with my dad.
Swedish strawberries, cheese, black bread, strawberry ProViva and Onaka fil.
Crying with laughter.
Sitting with my thoughts while watching the waves on my brother’s tiny island.Simple Pleasures in Sweden | The True Sea thetruesea.comSimple Pleasures in Sweden | The True Sea thetruesea.comSimple Pleasures in Sweden | The True Sea thetruesea.comSimple Pleasures in Sweden | The True Sea thetruesea.com